


Bonbon Aigre

by Omnibee13



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Candy, Cannibalism kinda, Dadgil, Demons, Nero tries too hard, Other, Pure Crack too, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnibee13/pseuds/Omnibee13
Summary: Vergil spent 20 years eating lesser demons in order to survive. What possessed Nero to offer to share his Sour Patch Kids Watermelon candies with the man, no one is sure.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 83





	Bonbon Aigre

**Author's Note:**

> Pure and simple crack for a delightful tumblr blog, dantesthighs.tumblr.com

Dante really chalked it up to carbs and calories. Though they were twins, the years had treated them very differently, and one such way was access to food. Both he and Vergil weren’t exactly well-fed when they had seen each other at the top of the Temen-ni-Gru. Dante himself had subsisted on what little pizza he could afford. At the time, he was too busy being a shithead on main to think about what hardships his twin had gone through in their eleven-years apart. Then, of course, Vergil left .. And Dante didn’t want to ponder what Mundus made Nelo Angelo eat as his slave and personal plaything. 

Seeing Vergil on top of the Qliphoth tree, though, Dante did have to remark that his other half was .. _kinda_ on the skinny side? Dante chalked it up to him having access to fuckin carbs, whenever Vergil had the chance to take his shirt off, during their time in Hell. He wasn’t weak, no, he still had a lot of strength, but Vergil was no longer built the same. 

Horrifyingly, as Dante soon found out, apparently their father’s breed of demon, Overdemon, were able to sustain themselves by eating other, lesser demons. Dante thought he was going to have a heart attack when, down in Hell during their second or third week, Vergil nonchalantly went ham on the shank of a demon carcass like a dog with a bone. He then had the absolute _gall_ to offer Dante the limb he had been gnawing on, and Dante was sure he thought he was being a good big brother, taking care of his kid brother in Hell. 

After a lot of screaming, eventually Vergil was able to explain himself. He had more or less forgone human food, in favor of what amounted to quasi-cannibalism. It wasn’t great. He didn’t really taste of anything but blood and hatred, however it kept him going. It did nothing to put on muscle, but it kept him from starving to death. Mundus, he explained, forced him to, at first. And then he just .. kept doing it. As horrifying as that was, Dante quietly accepted it and despite several instances of him immediately barfing after a few bites, Vergil awkwardly patting his back while he heaved, Dante did manage to keep from starving during their time in Hell. 

But now they weren’t in Hell, so Dante was going to eat like a fuckin trashcan. So while Dante became Red Grave City’s Chinese take-outs’ favorite customer, Vergil demurred. Vergil’s usual breakfast was black coffee or tea. Then maybe an apple.

Actually, Vergil really liked apples, Dante was finding out. He imagined it was a kind of joke; Vergil had eaten the Qliphoth apple, now he liked apple apples. It was like a Genesis joke, Dante supposed. So, still, Vergil usually had an apple on him. Before missions or after missions, it was common to hear him crunching on an apple. It probably wasn’t healthy, but it was what it was.

So when they were mid-transit to another job, riding out the piss-poor shocks of Nico’s van as she broke every traffic law that impeded her, Vergil reached into his coat and swore, softly, under his breath. 

Nero noticed first, frowning.

“You good?” Nero asked, having grown used to extending little olive branches here and there. 

“No,” Vergil admitted, with a shrug. “It’s .. infantile. I forgot to pick up my apple before we left Dante’s.”

“Your apple?”

“Dante says I snack when I’m nervous. I don’t know what that means. I only know I usually have one before these things. Or after.” Vergil shrugged, again. “It’s no matter.”

“Are you hungry?” Nero asked, reaching into the inside pocket of his coat. 

Vergil was unused to Nero showing what he assumed was filial piety-esque affections. He waved his son off, hoping to avoid any awkwardness.

“No, I’m fine,” he assured him. “Please, don’t trouble yourself in this – ”

“Here!” Nero said, pulling an open but folded bright yellow bag out of his pocket. “It’s not a lot, but these usually do good for me. You want to try one?”

“What are they?” Vergil asked, unable to deny his own curiosity. 

“Candy,” Nero said, with his own shrug. “These are watermelon flavored. Kyrie gets them for the kids sometimes.” Nero offered it to him, but Vergil was .. skeptical. Did he risk it? Or did he instead risk offending his child, who appeared prepared to offer this olive branch, even after everything that had happened between them..?

“I was never a big fan,” Vergil admitted, even though he allowed Nero to tip a few of the brightly colored red and green wedges into his palm. “Mother had some – ”

“Grandma?” Nero said, going by Kyrie’s advice to try to normalize the relationship between his father and himself as much as possible. Eva wasn’t Eva, she was Grandma. Same with Sparda, but Vergil never talked about him. 

“Mother,” Vergil corrected, and Nero didn’t argue. These things that Nero had given him looked like cartoons. He shrugged, and as he ate one, dared to think _how bad could it possibly be?_

Oh, God,

Oh, God, no, it was bad.

It was bad.

Vergil gagged, and hand over his mouth, rushed to the back of the van, where a waste basket sat behind Nico’s work-tables. Nero blinked, shocked, and watched. Dante, who had been up in the passanger seat with Nico, gaped, while Vergil violently got sick. 

“Jesus, what the fuck you do to him, kiddo?” Dante said, ambling out of his seat and towards the back. 

“It was just a Sour Patch Kid!” Nero protested, also rising to go and see to his father. Vergil still gagged, spitting what was left of the chewed up candy from his mouth. 

20 years of eating what amounted to sin itself left Vergil woefully unprepared for the concept of “sour candies.” 

“My guy,” Dante said, half laughing, as he pulled a slim, silver flask from his breast pocket. Nero thought perhaps if Vergil couldn’t handle Sour Patch Watermelons, he might not like Dante’s Jack stash, but Vergil reached for it like a man dying of thirst. Verg took a gulp, swished and went to spit, but Dante popped him on the back of the head. “Swallow, you pansy!” And Vergil did so, but not without pulling a face. “The Alpha and the Omega, the Dark Slayer, the Eldest Son of Sparda.. _felled_ by a sour candy~”

“Shut up,” Vergil groaned, less eloquent than usual. “Jesus Christ..”

“Do you not like sour things?!” Nero asked, freaking out only very slightly. “I mean, you could have said something, shit!”

“I haven’t _eaten_ much in variety in almost 20 years!” Vergil exclaimed, coughing. He tried to straighten, tried to gather what was left of his dignity. “I’m sorry,” he lied, he didn’t feel sorry at all, he felt violated, but he also had to admit, that wasn’t Nero’s fault. “Just a, uh.. Bad reaction. Thank you.”

Vergil had sheepishly kept to himself through most of the mission and even afterwards. They got the demon killed and they returned home and Vergil retreated into his bedroom, grabbing his forgotten apple off the counter as he strode, more confident than he was.. 

The next time Nero had a mission with Vergil, he shyly offered him a different sweet bag. 

Green apple gummi rings, at that..

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope dantesthighs likes this.
> 
> IF you have any requests you'd like to see made real, please, comment below and I'll make sure you have it!


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